the process stops here

johnny

just before I fall asleep I sometimes experience the awareness of falling asleep.  the thought runs through my mind “I’m almost asleep – it’s cool that I can recognize this” – and it stops the process.  I have to start all over again.

it’s like that with writing for me, too.  in fact, with all things creative.  I’m rolling along, getting into the groove, time has slowed and suddenly I’m aware that things are going well – and it stops the process.

my new teacher – 2048 – shows me over and over again that if I don’t overthink things – if I can let my brain wander while I’m playing – my scores are higher.

my brain is not always my friend.

creating is often a process of letting go over and over again.  let go of the outcome.  let go of thoughts.  let go of attachment.  Julia Cameron says she does better work when she lets go of ownership and just takes dictation from wherever ideas come from;  the Source;  the Universe;  God;  any Higher Power.

so I’m learning that imagining the feedback I’ll get (good or bad) as I’m creating is putting on the brakes.  my best work is created in the moment.

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